Month: August 2013

  • Why Don’t We Empathize First?

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    Last week, I advised empathizing before advising. To attempt to remedy my hypocrisy, I will now empathize with the desire not to empathize. Because there really are a bunch of good and legitimate reasons we try other tacks. I’ll say some reasons I don’t empathize, so I’m not speculating too much about general motivations, but…

  • Reminder: Empathize First!

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    If you’re talking to someone who is seeking support, it is incredibly useful to empathize before giving advice. This is true even if the person is nominally seeking advice.  I know to do this, but in the past few weeks, it’s happened at least three times that I can think of that I’ve been in…

  • Conversation Rules for My Birthday Party

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    The feedback I got indicated that the “ask a personal question” rule was the most helpful.  I suspect that setting the intention to have good conversations in the first place was more effective than the specific ruleset, but it’s hard to know with these things. I consider the ruleset an alpha version, and I want…