Becoming Eden

Author: divia

  • 23 Weeks of Lydia

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    divia
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    It’s been another week! No huge updates this week, but there have been a bunch of little things. I keep meaning to take more regular notes about what’s going on during the week, but I’m mostly just glad that I’ve been getting around to making these updates every Wednesday, since it all changes so quickly.…

  • How I Think Pathological Guilt Works

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    divia
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    “If I do something wrong, I have to feel bad about it forever.” I used to believe that, and that belief has been on my mind because I really don’t believe it anymore, and I was just talking to someone who expressed pretty much that exact belief.

  • 22 Weeks of Lydia

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    divia
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    Lydia turned five months old this week, and also went on her first camping trip. I got a really mild cold for a few days last week, though Lydia didn’t seem to be affected much. She was a bit sneezy, and I think she may have been sleeping more because of it. We were camping…

  • Heuristics for Spotting Distorted Thinking: “It Would Be One Thing If… But…”

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    divia
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    I have a whole bunch of heuristics I use to notice distorted thinking. I’ve covered some of them here. Today, I wanted to highlight the speech pattern “It would be one thing if X, but Y,” typically used to describe why someone’s behavior is objectionable. The language can vary a little: “I know that she…

  • 21 Weeks of Lydia

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    divia
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    Lydia will be five months this Sunday, and I’ve started telling people she’s “almost five months” instead of “four and a half months”. Sleep I don’t think she’s woken up in the middle of the night this week and stayed up for a while. I skipped swaddling more times this week, so those nights were…

  • Your Past is Never the Reason

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    divia
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    I’m a huge fan of the Internal Family Systems therapy method. This method involves (among other things) digging into your past to find emotions you never finished processing and sorting them out. I’ve seen this method work very well to shift repetitive thoughts and behaviors relatively effortlessly. Doing the work is often fun and rewarding.…

  • 20 Weeks of Lydia

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    divia
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    Twenty weeks already! I’ve been referring to Lydia as 4.5 months old, but next week she’ll be nearly 5 months. Probably the biggest thing this week was her four-month vaccines. Sleep A couple of times this week, Lydia has woken up in the middle of the night for a while, not just to feed. Not…

  • If You Have A Strong Feeling, It’s Yours

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    divia
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    I’ve had a plan to blog about something related to personal growth every Monday. I’ve managed this the last two weeks, and I’m doing it again today. I read an IFS book about relationships a couple of years ago that had an articulate explanation of why strong feelings are always about us, never the other person.…

  • Nineteen Weeks of Lydia

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    divia
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    Lydia tuns nineteen weeks old today, and it was a very active week. She’s getting stronger by the day! Sleep Sleep was unmemorable this week, which is exactly where I want it to be! She seems to be past whatever was making her more fitful last week. We have been breaking out the swaddling blanket…

  • Your Inner Virtue Ethicist Should Like Self-Compassion

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    divia
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    If you haven’t read Virtue Ethics for Consequentialists, I highly recommend it. As I see it, consequentialism is obviously correct, and virtue ethics is how you implement it on human hardware. I’m also a big fan of self-compassion. Today, I was working with someone, and while we did some good IFS work together, we didn’t…