Becoming Eden

Tag: communication

  • Having People You Can Talk to Matters

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    divia
    in

    I had a really fun weekend, mostly because we had friends over Saturday through Sunday, and we just hung out and talked. And we have another friend who’s still staying on our couch, so I was just talking to him. One of the big things that’s been on my mind recently is just how important…

  • Recognize Your Partner’s Child

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    by

    divia
    in

    Have you ever had the experience that you have a discussion with your partner about something he did that upset you, and he seems to agree and be understand, but then later goes back to justifying his own actions? Feel free to switch the genders, since this is common behavior in men and women. It…

  • It Is More Vulnerable to Ask for What You Want

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    by

    divia
    in

    I was talking to someone one a while back about why it can be hard for people to ask what they want. After all, it’s obvious that you’re more likely to get what you want when you ask. As far as I can tell, the answer is that it is actually much more vulnerable to…

  • Heuristics for Spotting Distorted Thinking: “It Would Be One Thing If… But…”

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    divia
    in

    I have a whole bunch of heuristics I use to notice distorted thinking. I’ve covered some of them here. Today, I wanted to highlight the speech pattern “It would be one thing if X, but Y,” typically used to describe why someone’s behavior is objectionable. The language can vary a little: “I know that she…

  • Beyond Rationality

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    by

    Will
    in

    I called this post “Beyond Rationality” because I wanted to move past the unfortunate connotations and bad habits associated with the word “rationality” in our culture. With tongue firmly in cheek, Divia and I often refer to the cluster of ideas I am about to present as post-rationality, and you may well encounter us using…

  • If You Have A Strong Feeling, It’s Yours

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    by

    divia
    in

    I’ve had a plan to blog about something related to personal growth every Monday. I’ve managed this the last two weeks, and I’m doing it again today. I read an IFS book about relationships a couple of years ago that had an articulate explanation of why strong feelings are always about us, never the other person.…