Becoming Eden

Tag: emotions

  • Instrumentally Caring Intrinsically

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    A way of thinking that I’ve been using for a few years now, but I don’t think I’ve ever written up, is the idea of instrumentally caring about things intrinsically.   Caring about something intrinsically is often very useful for coordinating with others. When you care about something for its own sake: It’s easy to…

  • (Partial) Summary of A Theory of Moral Sentiments

    —

    by

    will
    in

    Adam Smith is best known for being the father of modern economics with the publishing of his magnum opus The Wealth of Nations. Far fewer people know about his second most famous book A Theory of Moral Sentiments (which, incidentally, is where the term “invisible hand” actually comes from). While the book is nominally about moral philosophy,…

  • Appreciating Contempt

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    A couple of years ago, Will and I attended an event where someone asked us all to consider which emotion we had the hardest time owning and were most likely to resist and push away. We both gave the same answer: contempt. At the time I remember thinking that contempt seemed mean and not that…

  • How to Build a Tribe

    —

    by

    will
    in

    It is important to preface this entire document by saying that I had very specific objectives for creating a tribe. In particular, I wanted a group that was emotionally vulnerable with each other, who are reacting in real time to each other’s responses, where we create a safe space to say and feel and process…

  • Other People’s Emotional States

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    Last week I posted as my Facebook status that: “Someone else’s emotional state is almost always a terrible optimization target.” I got a couple of requests to expand the thought to the length of a blog post, so here I go! I’ve been thinking since I posted it, and I think there are two fairly…

  • Suffering is Created by Resistance

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    I got an email a few days ago about a card from one of my Anki decks that says “Suffering is created by resistance.” I wanted to explain what that statement meant to me. To start, in my mind there is a companion phrase: “Pain is not suffering.”  Here’s what I’ve written about that statement. I…

  • Feeling Better than Other People

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    This post will just be a quick note based on a conversation I had with someone recently on the subject of feeling superior to other people. I’ve been there before, as I suspect many people have. If you find yourself simultaneously thinking you’re somehow better than other people and thinking it’s wrong to think that…

  • Why Don’t We Empathize First?

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    Last week, I advised empathizing before advising. To attempt to remedy my hypocrisy, I will now empathize with the desire not to empathize. Because there really are a bunch of good and legitimate reasons we try other tacks. I’ll say some reasons I don’t empathize, so I’m not speculating too much about general motivations, but…

  • Where I’ve Been, and a Brief Taxonomy of Bad Patterns

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    I didn’t post yesterday because I was traveling all day. I got up extremely early and took Lydia on a cab to SFO for a flight to JFK, then took another flight to Portland, ME, then another cab, then a ferry. Add in time being pushed three hours ahead, and that’s the day. I also…

  • What Is Submission?

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    This weekend, I had a good conversation with a good friend of mine about the meaning of submission. I ended up clarifying my thoughts on the concept quite a bit, in a way that I expect to be useful, despite being pretty abstract and meta. As long as I can remember, I’ve had pretty negative…