Becoming Eden

Category: Blog

  • Do You Feel Like an Adult?

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    by

    divia
    in

    I was doing some IFS with an old friend yesterday, and when I told her to imagine what her adult self would say to her ten-year-old child self, she said that her problem was that she didn’t feel like an adult. I primed the pump with some wisdom I’ve heard from her over the years, and…

  • Motivated Forgetting

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    by

    divia
    in

    One of the creepier phenomena I’ve encountered as a human is motivated forgetting. And one of the more powerful moments of my life was the first time I noticed myself doing it. I was with my boyfriend at the time. I can’t remember whether we were having an argument in the moment or I was…

  • It Is More Vulnerable to Ask for What You Want

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    by

    divia
    in

    I was talking to someone one a while back about why it can be hard for people to ask what they want. After all, it’s obvious that you’re more likely to get what you want when you ask. As far as I can tell, the answer is that it is actually much more vulnerable to…

  • Conscious Judging, Mourning, and Self-Forgiveness

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    by

    divia
    in

    One day, maybe I’ll write a post about how “judgement” (like “belief”), is one of those words that is overloaded to the point where using it at all is likely to interfere with precise communication. But today, I’ll just use the word “judgement” as best I can. While I was working with someone the other…

  • IFS and Learning to Visualize

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    by

    divia
    in

    Last week, I did some first-time IFS with someone whose experience reminded me a lot of mine when I first got started. I used to be one of those people who said I had trouble visualizing. I don’t think I quite said that I couldn’t visualize, but it seemed hard to do so. When other people…

  • Self-Improvement: What It Is And Why We Care

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    by

    Will
    in

    We like to talk about this concept we call “self-improvement” a lot. On the face of it, it’s a relatively simple and easy concept to understand: we are improving our selves. End of post! …except it’s still a little bit vague what I mean by that, even in my own mind. Let’s forget about defining…

  • Feeling Overwhelmed While Working?

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    by

    divia
    in

    After our recent productivity webinar, I did some one-on-one IFS work, and I (again) ran into what I think is actually a pretty common not-so-uselful belief: “Until I’m finished, I can’t feel okay.” I used to think this way too, that I had to feel overwhelmed and guilty until I got all my important things done.…

  • “Did I Cause That?” Usually Comes from a Young Place

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    by

    divia
    in

    Last week, I had a very useful conversation with my own IFS therapist. She helped me sort through a whole mess of confusing thoughts I had been having and get back to a grounded place. In the course of this process, one of the thoughts that came up for me was along the lines of…

  • Things IFS Teaches

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    by

    divia
    in

    A while back, I made a list of things that I think people tend to learn from engaging with the IFS process, so I thought I would post it here. (There are obviously tons of other ways to learn these things, and many people will already know a bunch of them.) These are in no…

  • How I Think Pathological Guilt Works

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    by

    divia
    in

    “If I do something wrong, I have to feel bad about it forever.” I used to believe that, and that belief has been on my mind because I really don’t believe it anymore, and I was just talking to someone who expressed pretty much that exact belief.