Becoming Eden

Tag: IFS

  • New Perspectives on IFS

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    divia
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    I did some IFS with a friend last night around his nail-biting, an area where he hadn’t gotten much traction working on his own. Early in the process, when he expressed some judgements about the nail biting, I clarified that I wasn’t interested in getting him to stop biting his nails if we couldn’t first…

  • Musings on Nihilism and Metaphysics

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    divia
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    Today’s post will be a bit weirder than the usual fare. Ever since a fun discussion at Ephemerisle, I’ve had a bunch of things on my mind related to many worlds, the simulation hypothesis, and anthropics in general. I don’t understand anthropics. As far as I can tell, no one does. In the narrative of…

  • Still on Vacation, Self-leadership

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    divia
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    The usual personal-growthy stuff is less on my mind than usual (despite having gotten some good related reading done), since I’m still in Maine on vacation with my family, and I once again didn’t get around to writing my usual Monday post.  I’ll just throw out a brief story from my life. I wrote a…

  • I’ve Been Resisting Unblending

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    divia
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    There’s been a pattern going on in my own life recently that I’m going to try to articulate, mostly in hopes that doing so will help something shift. There’s a sense in which I can always unblend from my current trigger, go into Self, get some more perspective, laugh at myself, and get into a good…

  • Do You Feel Like an Adult?

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    divia
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    I was doing some IFS with an old friend yesterday, and when I told her to imagine what her adult self would say to her ten-year-old child self, she said that her problem was that she didn’t feel like an adult. I primed the pump with some wisdom I’ve heard from her over the years, and…

  • Conscious Judging, Mourning, and Self-Forgiveness

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    divia
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    One day, maybe I’ll write a post about how “judgement” (like “belief”), is one of those words that is overloaded to the point where using it at all is likely to interfere with precise communication. But today, I’ll just use the word “judgement” as best I can. While I was working with someone the other…

  • IFS and Learning to Visualize

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    divia
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    Last week, I did some first-time IFS with someone whose experience reminded me a lot of mine when I first got started. I used to be one of those people who said I had trouble visualizing. I don’t think I quite said that I couldn’t visualize, but it seemed hard to do so. When other people…

  • Feeling Overwhelmed While Working?

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    divia
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    After our recent productivity webinar, I did some one-on-one IFS work, and I (again) ran into what I think is actually a pretty common not-so-uselful belief: “Until I’m finished, I can’t feel okay.” I used to think this way too, that I had to feel overwhelmed and guilty until I got all my important things done.…

  • “Did I Cause That?” Usually Comes from a Young Place

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    divia
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    Last week, I had a very useful conversation with my own IFS therapist. She helped me sort through a whole mess of confusing thoughts I had been having and get back to a grounded place. In the course of this process, one of the thoughts that came up for me was along the lines of…

  • Things IFS Teaches

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    divia
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    A while back, I made a list of things that I think people tend to learn from engaging with the IFS process, so I thought I would post it here. (There are obviously tons of other ways to learn these things, and many people will already know a bunch of them.) These are in no…