Once we start to get upset, these negative feelings can become self-perpetuating until it seems like we have never felt and could never feel any other way! The more intense the build-up becomes, the harder and harder it is to break out of those beliefs. The best way to escape this cycle is to interrupt the pattern before it even begins – with positive emotions.
It turns out that one of the most powerful emotions is gratitude. There has been a volume of research showing that gratitude is correlated with greater subjective well being – people are happier, more productive, sleep better, have more control over themselves and their environment, and grow through challenges when they experience more gratitude. The effect is so strong that interventions have been done where people keep a journal and write down three things every day they are grateful for – try it for yourself and see! When you find yourself avoiding work, take a moment and think about the person you are most grateful towards. Then think about what you are most grateful about in your own life.
Another powerful emotion is self-compassion. Consider yourself from an outside perspective for a moment: not only is that person suffering because of his internal conflict about work, but on top of that he is feeling shame, guilt, fear, anger and/or self-judgment too! Don’t you want to reach out and comfort that person? Don’t you wish you could do something to help? Remember that what you are going through is part of the shared human experience, and feel some compassion for yourself and your struggles – you will feel a lot better afterwards.
I will leave you with one further note: try laughing! The situation may not be very funny at the time, so remember a recent situation or your favorite comedy routine, maybe even sneak away quickly to listen to it. If you can, laugh at how ridiculous the situation is! Everything will look a little bit brighter in that light.
Leave a Reply