Becoming Eden

Tag: emotions

  • Feelings and Needs

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    divia
    in

    I’m a huge fan of Nonviolent Communication. I think I forget how much studying it has changed my life, because I take a lot of its lessons mostly for granted these days. I’m pretty good at empathizing, both with myself and others. I’m much better than I used to be at expressing what’s going on…

  • Summary of A Guide to the Good Life

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    Will
    in

    A Guide to the Good Life: the Ancient Art of Stoic Joy is a handbook of Stoic philosophy by professor William Irvine. He points out that Stoicism is very different than the stereotypes we have developed about unfeeling robots, and in fact it contains a lot of timeless advice for psychological well being. This is…

  • Do You Feel Like an Adult?

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    divia
    in

    I was doing some IFS with an old friend yesterday, and when I told her to imagine what her adult self would say to her ten-year-old child self, she said that her problem was that she didn’t feel like an adult. I primed the pump with some wisdom I’ve heard from her over the years, and…

  • Conscious Judging, Mourning, and Self-Forgiveness

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    divia
    in

    One day, maybe I’ll write a post about how “judgement” (like “belief”), is one of those words that is overloaded to the point where using it at all is likely to interfere with precise communication. But today, I’ll just use the word “judgement” as best I can. While I was working with someone the other…

  • How I Think Pathological Guilt Works

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    divia
    in

    “If I do something wrong, I have to feel bad about it forever.” I used to believe that, and that belief has been on my mind because I really don’t believe it anymore, and I was just talking to someone who expressed pretty much that exact belief.

  • Beyond Rationality

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    Will
    in

    I called this post “Beyond Rationality” because I wanted to move past the unfortunate connotations and bad habits associated with the word “rationality” in our culture. With tongue firmly in cheek, Divia and I often refer to the cluster of ideas I am about to present as post-rationality, and you may well encounter us using…

  • If You Have A Strong Feeling, It’s Yours

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    divia
    in

    I’ve had a plan to blog about something related to personal growth every Monday. I’ve managed this the last two weeks, and I’m doing it again today. I read an IFS book about relationships a couple of years ago that had an articulate explanation of why strong feelings are always about us, never the other person.…

  • Compassionate Communication Recap

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    Will
    in

    Thanks to everyone who showed up to yesterday’s webinar! The title was Compassionate Communication: What to Say When People Get Upset, and we were talking about the ideas from Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication. We outlined the basic model of NVC, talked about our experiences with it and how we think about it, and even…

  • Your Inner Virtue Ethicist Should Like Self-Compassion

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    divia
    in

    If you haven’t read Virtue Ethics for Consequentialists, I highly recommend it. As I see it, consequentialism is obviously correct, and virtue ethics is how you implement it on human hardware. I’m also a big fan of self-compassion. Today, I was working with someone, and while we did some good IFS work together, we didn’t…

  • Ten Ways to Change Your Behavior Immediately #5: Use Curiosity

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    Will
    in

    The most natural thing in the world is to get stuck in our usual patterns.  We do the same thing day in and day out and it becomes a habit, it feels incredibly easy or maybe even right to take the same action.  Each time we follow the path of least resistance we create a…